Deserving Mercy? Ha! (1 Tim. 1:12-17)

(1 Tim. 1:12-17)

12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, 13 even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief;

Throughout my life, especially the last ten years, when I read this statement from Paul, I feel guilt.  I don't know about you, but when I read Paul saying, "I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief," my insides react with: "But I have sinned so much in full knowledge of the fact I'm sinning! I cannot deserve mercy!"

I hope you caught the irony and silliness of that inner conflict.  If not, let me give two reasons why my assumption that Paul deserves mercy - and I don't - is asinine.  

First, the definition of biblical mercy makes "deserving" impossible.  To use the old AWANA definition of mercy: "God not giving us the punishment we deserve."  This differs from grace.  Grace is more active - "Underserved, unearned favor or kindness from God."  Mercy is more passive - God withholding the punishment we actually deserve. In order for it to be mercy, the recipients must be undeserving. 

Second, the context of Paul's statement makes it illogical that Paul is flexing in this passage, or trying to promote his own worthiness.  Look at the rest of his comment:

14 and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. 15 It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. 16 Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

Enter grace, faith and love, which all flow from Jesus Christ.  He is the source of the the undeserved kindness we need from God.  He is the source of the faith we need in order to trust God for salvation.  He is the source of the love from God that gives us live and transforms us.  And notice that all these these gifts from Christ are given in abundance. Christ is the source. 

Paul goes further: this was the very purpose for which Christ put on flesh and came to this earth - to save sinners.  That is why He came! And this was the eternal plan of the triune God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - working in harmony to perform this rescue mission.  Jesus came to save sinners, and apparently Paul believes himself to be the foremost of all sinners.  

I beg to differ, but I digress. 

If Paul was boasting in verse 13 that he deserves mercy because of his ignorance and unbelief, then he is saying the opposite in verse 15.  He claims to be the last person in the world who would deserve mercy from God.  He strengthens that thought in verse 16 when he describes why Jesus would save someone like him.  In saving the very worst of sinners, Jesus is showing the magnitude of His mercy.  If he withholds wrath from Paul, He is willing to withhold wrath from any sinner who would "believe in Him for eternal life." 

Paul's point: if Jesus' mercy is big enough for me, it's big enough for anyone. 

So, with Paul, I celebrate my salvation and the fact that Jesus has poured out His abundant mercy on me, a sinner, a great sinner, who has sinned in full knowledge that I am sinning.  I have called out to Him for forgiveness and found Him to be just what He was accused of being - a friend of sinners. I'm humbled.  i repent. And with Paul, I rejoice:

17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.